ROMANIA!!!!!!

taste Budapest :)

just one group photo :))

enjoying the subway :)

a drop of sad history

Budapest by night

Hungarians' National Celebration

Danube river and the Parliament

first touch of spring

snowdrops and lady's delights

a blossomed tree

me chasing spring

It's been some time

since I last wrote here. It's so strange how day by day life can make you take a detour from your priorities and make you forget. Forget about you, about friends, about what's really important. I do not feel like I have much to share with you today. I'm still waiting for the visa, so all my plans are now on-hold. Hopefully, soon there will be a clear way to take. As for my life, same worries, same work, same colleagues, same days, better or worst as the seasons are passing. It seems spring is finally in Bucharest, although we had no real winter. I had a good day today and still I feel too empty. I also had a good mood, I joked and I laughed, but why am I so sad? or what is wrong? am I really sad? I have a colleague in the office very passionate about psychology and he keeps telling me that he can not decipher me :) it's so funny, he always has these theories and I do things some time and he keeps telling me from time to time "When I think I get to know you, you always do something that takes you of the pattern, I've never met someone like you". My favourite line to his comments is "well, when I'll decipher myself, you'll be first to tell :))" and the smile is authentic, you know, it's always there. So, still looking for answers about who am I, but mostly about how am I? Am I sad today, or am I happy, or am I melancholic? or ... am I ... ???? And you know what's actually the saddest thing? the fact that there is no one around me to actually talk about these things, you know, that best friend, a sister or a brother, one of the parents or a lover. With whom are you guys talking to about these things? I know you also must feel it, or wonder it, or ask yourselves about it. I'm not expecting any answers, I think that this post was written only to myself, to see if I'm still able to talk to myself and to question.

same aura

Guardian angels

Do you ever think of him? (and I hate to call him "it") Do we have a guardian angel? is there someone beside us, to look for us? when we are in despair, when we are ill, when we are in need, when we are cold or sad? Or when we are in joy and happiness? I was watching this movie tonight and as I was sitting in the bed with two blankets on me I imagined for an instant how would it be, to have someone sitting near me in the same position and just watching for me. Is it comforting? Is it scary?

I think it would be so good!!! But, do you believe in guardian angels?

I did not have time lately to think of this, but there were times when I felt that I was not alone in times of need. And this does not require any special gifts, any special education, it just needs to be yourself and trust your feelings.

Hm, such a weird thought for this end of the weekend.

aura

The world I live in

Do you remember those "State of the world" sessions from AIESEC national conferences? I do not know if they are still part of the agendas or maybe they are called now differently or maybe they are just re-designed.

I had to work today, so I got up around 04:40 AM, went to the office where I arrived at 05:20 AM and started my day of work. I came home almost 2 hours ago, at around 09:00 PM, but this is not going to be a post about my work, It's about how things are happening in my dear country and about some great young people I had the chance to meet this afternoon. As I was on my way home, in a taxi, the driver and I had a very interesting conversation about things that are changing from a day to another here in Bucharest; about a bridge for the railway who had to be repaired and moved higher and now after it's done they realized that it looks awful and some architects met for "finding solutions"; about how today a street is repaired and the sidewalk is replaced for having it broken and redone in 2 months; about how office buildings are just rising from the cement all around the city not taking into account our beautiful architecture, the urban styles and all the history still preserved all around; about how some can not just pull old buildings down, but they are just not doing anything waiting for those wonderful buildings to fall apart for them to use that piece of land to rise another glass and steel building.

And the conclusion was, "but you know, that's why the opposition party was removed from every institution, for not being anyone able to shout, to scream, to ask, why all this wastage, why is our money spent so without any common sense"? I tried not to reply as I do not like politics, but it seems that is all around me and we just can not be apart of it.

I had the chance today to talk to some young people that participated to some InBev assessment centers we held to our office and we talked about Romania, about misconceptions, about politics, about problems, about communism and about change. I could felt a shy attempt of hope, that things can improve, that not everything is lost, that we can make a difference, that we can fight everything and we can overcome what's not right and each and every obstacle. I know that probably now it's just my rise against everything and that probably they already forgot that discussion and that starting tomorrow everybody is going back to learning for an exam, or to going out with friends, or to God knows what, and things will just move forward as until now. This makes me so, so sad.

Yesterday and today were the most cold days of this winter and it was only -6 C degrees in Bucharest. I can not believe that I got used with so warm weather that I find that -6 C is too cold. What happen with our winters? what happened to my springs? I mean I could buy snowdrops in the end of January, I can buy now, middle of February blue-bells and daffodils, what's next?

And to get to the real thing, 4 counties from Romania have moved to desertification. We will have desert in Romania, :(( I mean I learned in the primary school that we have in Romania all kind of relief, we have mountains, hills, plain, sea, rivers, delta, the Danube, but I never learned that we can be so insensitive to what we have, I never learned that all this might end, might change at some point and that we will be the ones to be blamed for it. Why didn't they teach us this? Why didn't they tell us that we have to grow up and to preserve what we have, and to develop everything in a sustainable way? WHY?

I received a message these past days, I think it was translated from French to Romanian and I will try to translate it to you in English, I know it's just a message, but just try to read it, to understand it's meaning and to pass it forward, as we all know, the change starts with us.

so, stay close for the presentation

aura

They say ...

They say that no news is good news, but definitely patience is not one of my strengths. I'm waiting now, the first enthusiasm has passed and now, I'm not disappointed, but I'm back to the working mood, to the day by day worries and to the usual problems. I had a job interview today, as I'm checking for new opportunities, I'm trying to enter the CSR activity, although it's kind of difficult on the Romanian market, .... and I do not like anything of what's happening now with me. I do not find the motivation to like my job, I have no news for Pakistan and well ... I have no other perspectives yet.

I have a difficult day on Saturday, I still have so many things to prepare and I'm just not in the mood. I'm reading the last conversations I had with Moaiz and I'm trying to find the right attitude and the spirit to do something, I hope I will succeed.

That's it for now, as you can see, very poor posts, and very low mood. Still, I'm happy for AIESEC in Romania and mostly for Gabiza, Congrats once again and lots of accomplished dreams for the future also.

I will end now with a Happy Birthday wish for AIESEC Sibiu, La mai mare dragilor!!!!!!

aura

Bowling evening with my work colleagues

in mood for chocolate, bubble bath and snow

Hm, weird first line tonight. What's the connection between all those? Probably just me.

I had no Internet connection at home for more than 24 hours and it felt bad, strange, I was lost. I kept telling myself that nothing so, so, important is going to happen just today, but, it is so good now that I'm connected again :)

I had the chocolate, but I passed the bubble bath tonight. As for the snow, I wouldn't be very surprised to find it tomorrow morning everywhere around Bucharest.

I had a very interesting conversation tonight with a friend. We see each other very rarely, and we talk more often on YMsg, but hm ... it seems that time can not change the way we think and feel and talk ...

Actually something else I wanted to write here.

I've heard this line in a movie, but I find myself so often in this situation that I just keep reminding it: I'm playing the role of the best friend in my own life, I'm never the main character, I'm never the first. Although usually I'm happy with this role, it's kind of tiring. I want my life, I want to have the first role, I want to be the lady, I want to have the adventures, and the main action, I want to have the guy, I want to be first. God, I can be so selfish sometimes.

Leaving this behind, how are you, my dear AIESEC in Pakistan? Did you have a nice weekend? I hope yes, and I hope you are getting ready for me as I'm getting ready for you :))

Ending now, just no mood for writing ...

aura

how about a sun, a beach and a tennis racket??

God, I just love those smileys on GTalk -- you know, when you're talking logged on GMail, they are just spinning 90 degrees and they really smile to you. They really changed my mood tonight, or so to say, this morning :P.

I think in Pakistan you really celebrate Valentine's Day, as many of you were offline this evening :) luckily your MC, or part of it, had to leave to Egypt early in the morning, and this is how I'm talking now with Taha. He's taking his job really really seriously, offering some help to Moaiz with the measurement, as he is asking very professional questions :):):):)

What would you guys respond to the question: what are your expectations from ... ? What do you usually answer when this questions arises in a training session for example? I know I never got answers to it. But it helped talking about it, and I discovered that I really have expectations and it's easier to define those expectations like this. Do I sound logical? I suddenly feel like I'm talking non-sense. Hm, posting to the blog and planning tennis matches in the same time, seems not to be a good thing to do. Should I bring my tennis racket or not? Hahahaha, I already speak about making the luggage to Pakistan, God, this should be a good sign Inshallah :)))

I'm stopping now, I have to dream about my luggage :))))) actually I need some sleep, just some :D

Aura