Guardian angels

Do you ever think of him? (and I hate to call him "it") Do we have a guardian angel? is there someone beside us, to look for us? when we are in despair, when we are ill, when we are in need, when we are cold or sad? Or when we are in joy and happiness? I was watching this movie tonight and as I was sitting in the bed with two blankets on me I imagined for an instant how would it be, to have someone sitting near me in the same position and just watching for me. Is it comforting? Is it scary?

I think it would be so good!!! But, do you believe in guardian angels?

I did not have time lately to think of this, but there were times when I felt that I was not alone in times of need. And this does not require any special gifts, any special education, it just needs to be yourself and trust your feelings.

Hm, such a weird thought for this end of the weekend.

aura

The world I live in

Do you remember those "State of the world" sessions from AIESEC national conferences? I do not know if they are still part of the agendas or maybe they are called now differently or maybe they are just re-designed.

I had to work today, so I got up around 04:40 AM, went to the office where I arrived at 05:20 AM and started my day of work. I came home almost 2 hours ago, at around 09:00 PM, but this is not going to be a post about my work, It's about how things are happening in my dear country and about some great young people I had the chance to meet this afternoon. As I was on my way home, in a taxi, the driver and I had a very interesting conversation about things that are changing from a day to another here in Bucharest; about a bridge for the railway who had to be repaired and moved higher and now after it's done they realized that it looks awful and some architects met for "finding solutions"; about how today a street is repaired and the sidewalk is replaced for having it broken and redone in 2 months; about how office buildings are just rising from the cement all around the city not taking into account our beautiful architecture, the urban styles and all the history still preserved all around; about how some can not just pull old buildings down, but they are just not doing anything waiting for those wonderful buildings to fall apart for them to use that piece of land to rise another glass and steel building.

And the conclusion was, "but you know, that's why the opposition party was removed from every institution, for not being anyone able to shout, to scream, to ask, why all this wastage, why is our money spent so without any common sense"? I tried not to reply as I do not like politics, but it seems that is all around me and we just can not be apart of it.

I had the chance today to talk to some young people that participated to some InBev assessment centers we held to our office and we talked about Romania, about misconceptions, about politics, about problems, about communism and about change. I could felt a shy attempt of hope, that things can improve, that not everything is lost, that we can make a difference, that we can fight everything and we can overcome what's not right and each and every obstacle. I know that probably now it's just my rise against everything and that probably they already forgot that discussion and that starting tomorrow everybody is going back to learning for an exam, or to going out with friends, or to God knows what, and things will just move forward as until now. This makes me so, so sad.

Yesterday and today were the most cold days of this winter and it was only -6 C degrees in Bucharest. I can not believe that I got used with so warm weather that I find that -6 C is too cold. What happen with our winters? what happened to my springs? I mean I could buy snowdrops in the end of January, I can buy now, middle of February blue-bells and daffodils, what's next?

And to get to the real thing, 4 counties from Romania have moved to desertification. We will have desert in Romania, :(( I mean I learned in the primary school that we have in Romania all kind of relief, we have mountains, hills, plain, sea, rivers, delta, the Danube, but I never learned that we can be so insensitive to what we have, I never learned that all this might end, might change at some point and that we will be the ones to be blamed for it. Why didn't they teach us this? Why didn't they tell us that we have to grow up and to preserve what we have, and to develop everything in a sustainable way? WHY?

I received a message these past days, I think it was translated from French to Romanian and I will try to translate it to you in English, I know it's just a message, but just try to read it, to understand it's meaning and to pass it forward, as we all know, the change starts with us.

so, stay close for the presentation

aura

They say ...

They say that no news is good news, but definitely patience is not one of my strengths. I'm waiting now, the first enthusiasm has passed and now, I'm not disappointed, but I'm back to the working mood, to the day by day worries and to the usual problems. I had a job interview today, as I'm checking for new opportunities, I'm trying to enter the CSR activity, although it's kind of difficult on the Romanian market, .... and I do not like anything of what's happening now with me. I do not find the motivation to like my job, I have no news for Pakistan and well ... I have no other perspectives yet.

I have a difficult day on Saturday, I still have so many things to prepare and I'm just not in the mood. I'm reading the last conversations I had with Moaiz and I'm trying to find the right attitude and the spirit to do something, I hope I will succeed.

That's it for now, as you can see, very poor posts, and very low mood. Still, I'm happy for AIESEC in Romania and mostly for Gabiza, Congrats once again and lots of accomplished dreams for the future also.

I will end now with a Happy Birthday wish for AIESEC Sibiu, La mai mare dragilor!!!!!!

aura

Bowling evening with my work colleagues

in mood for chocolate, bubble bath and snow

Hm, weird first line tonight. What's the connection between all those? Probably just me.

I had no Internet connection at home for more than 24 hours and it felt bad, strange, I was lost. I kept telling myself that nothing so, so, important is going to happen just today, but, it is so good now that I'm connected again :)

I had the chocolate, but I passed the bubble bath tonight. As for the snow, I wouldn't be very surprised to find it tomorrow morning everywhere around Bucharest.

I had a very interesting conversation tonight with a friend. We see each other very rarely, and we talk more often on YMsg, but hm ... it seems that time can not change the way we think and feel and talk ...

Actually something else I wanted to write here.

I've heard this line in a movie, but I find myself so often in this situation that I just keep reminding it: I'm playing the role of the best friend in my own life, I'm never the main character, I'm never the first. Although usually I'm happy with this role, it's kind of tiring. I want my life, I want to have the first role, I want to be the lady, I want to have the adventures, and the main action, I want to have the guy, I want to be first. God, I can be so selfish sometimes.

Leaving this behind, how are you, my dear AIESEC in Pakistan? Did you have a nice weekend? I hope yes, and I hope you are getting ready for me as I'm getting ready for you :))

Ending now, just no mood for writing ...

aura

how about a sun, a beach and a tennis racket??

God, I just love those smileys on GTalk -- you know, when you're talking logged on GMail, they are just spinning 90 degrees and they really smile to you. They really changed my mood tonight, or so to say, this morning :P.

I think in Pakistan you really celebrate Valentine's Day, as many of you were offline this evening :) luckily your MC, or part of it, had to leave to Egypt early in the morning, and this is how I'm talking now with Taha. He's taking his job really really seriously, offering some help to Moaiz with the measurement, as he is asking very professional questions :):):):)

What would you guys respond to the question: what are your expectations from ... ? What do you usually answer when this questions arises in a training session for example? I know I never got answers to it. But it helped talking about it, and I discovered that I really have expectations and it's easier to define those expectations like this. Do I sound logical? I suddenly feel like I'm talking non-sense. Hm, posting to the blog and planning tennis matches in the same time, seems not to be a good thing to do. Should I bring my tennis racket or not? Hahahaha, I already speak about making the luggage to Pakistan, God, this should be a good sign Inshallah :)))

I'm stopping now, I have to dream about my luggage :))))) actually I need some sleep, just some :D

Aura

How is rain in Lahore?

It's raining here in Bucharest today and I was thinking on my way to the office about how is the rain in Lahore. Days ago I was talking with Adeel on GTalk about rain, and about those kind of feelings that rain might awake in you. I personally love the sun and the sea, and swimming and the warm weather. So, rain is not among my favourite natural phenomenons; and still, today's rain was different. Was still, and there was no mud on the alleys or on the streets, the air was very, very fresh although I am in the heart of Bucharest, where is mostly cement and blocks, it smelled a little like spring and a little like winter, :) confusing smells and confusing state of being. This winter was particularly weird, I still miss the snow, but I really hope now for the real spring to come, to be able to go again to Cismigiu Garden and to enjoy the magnolias and the lake and everything. I'm sure it's going to be a weird spring also.

So my dear friends, how is rain in Lahore? :))

same aura

another kind of post

I am standing now with this silent keyboard in front of me, having it like a best friend, and just letting things to move ahead, together with my thoughts. It's been so long since I allowed myself to day dream and to think of life in general; I just read some of your blogs guys and I found so much motivation and inspiration in them, I feel like I just woke up from a deep, deep sleep, with no dreams, no hopes and no life. I wonder how could I for almost 2 years only hear the news at the TV but never actually listen, how I met so nice people and never actually get to know them, how I listened my favorite music and never perceived its message, how could I just be so blind and death and insensible.

I was yesterday in the subway coming from the embassy and a young man, I mean around 40 years old, passed by me and he only had one leg, he was using those crutches for helping him walk, and I felt so much compassion for him, but in the same time I forgot to see things like, God, that was his LIFE, that was normal to him. I mean, must be so tiring to see people around you feeling only compassion when you have still so much to give to the world and you have such an amalgam of emotions to share. I do not know why am I writing this here, maybe because it impressed me so much, but yesterday I choose to put it behind like I do daily, as Bucharest is full with this kind of examples of just life.

When almost 10 years ago I had that awful car accident and my mom lost the ability to see with one eye, I felt like the world is going to be over. Now, looking behind, I understand that normality for her is to see with only one eye, to take care of her more carefully, to take medicines daily for keeping the ability of the other eye and to just look forward as she is only 45 years old.

I was thinking so much lately at what normality is, and I ask you guys, what is being normal?

In a world with so many discrepancies, with richness and with poorness, with so much technology and with so many in-capacities, what is normal? are you normal? is your life normal? God, I wish I have an answer to this question.

ending here now, aura

I am sad

I know I should be happy, I just went to the embassy and apply for the visa, things are really happening, I am now planning my time for leaving everything behind me in the right order, with my contracts, with my job, with everything. But, I just can not help myself hating the fact that there is no one around me whom I could talk about all this adventure, about Pakistan, about AIESEC, about me taking this decision, about what to expect, about what will be different and what will be the same. I know I have your support my dear AIESEC in Pakistan, and I am very, very grateful because you write to me, you talk to me on GTalk, MSN, I really am, it's just here in Romania I can talk about this only with Delia, my mom, and ... that's about it, when I have the desire to actually tell everybody: "you know, I'm gonna go to Pakistan for half a year!" It's sad not having with whom to share this feeling of excitement and happiness, and the worries and ... everything :(

But, I'll get over it. Hopefully I will get the visa and then I will be able to tell this in the office also, and everywhere, on MSN, on YMsg, over the phone, well ... EVERYWHERE!!!!!

Until then, I'll just write here and talk about it with Delia and with you guys, listen some Pakistani music and plan things ahead :))

Hope to see you very soon!

same aura

me, at work in the office

a drop of Bucharest

Bucharest, with love

Good news, Inshallah

Good morning AIESEC Pakistan!!

yes, I know in Pakistan is almost 4 in the morning, here is just 1 and I just couldn't go to sleep without writing here some words. A good thing happen today (I mean yesterday :P), I managed to call the Pakistani embassy in Romania and although I was attention not to be too trustful :) I talked with the visa officer and it seems there are good chances to get a NGO visa for coming to Lahore. Now, I am very, very happy and I hope it will not end in a disappointment first, but actually does not matter, I'll get it one way or another, right?

Beside that, I started my day at 6 AM last morning, I had an interview in the office, managed some urgent tasks and did a paper for an exam I had in the afternoon. The day was full indeed, but not too crazy. Today, well, a client meeting at 09:30 and then, finishing the planning and the preparation for an Assessment Center session we'll have on Saturday in the office, for 18 people, this is a challenge, but will be done successfully.

Now that you know my plan, you know you can reach me anytime, so, I'll stop here and go to bed. Take care of yourselves and see you soon, right?

same aura

just some pics

Fall in Cismigiu garden, Bucharest

Bratislava, view from the castle up the hill

Looking for a map -- also Bratislava

same Bratislava -- this is what I mean by a HUGE HUG :)

Vienna -- Schoennbrun Castle

oh God, is so good to live your dream!!

I can not believe I did not find the time yesterday to post something here :D I had a very full day, full of events, full with meeting new people, full with lots of enthusiasm, laugh, happiness, and excitement. Do you still wonder why? Because I'm coming to Pakistan, of course :D

I talked yesterday with at least ten members of @ in Pakistan and it felt great, I felt welcomed, I felt already like part of AIESEC Pakistan, and these feelings are awesome.

And, in the evening I met with Delia to plan the next steps for getting the visa and preparing everything for my arrival there. You can imagine me and Del, in a McDonald's restaurant, listening I do not know what song of Madonna's and at one moment, Delia just leaves her hamburger down and she lays on her back into that comfortable armchair, and says: I can not believe it, I'm listening same Madonna's song, I'm tasting the same hamburger in a McDonald's restaurant and I'm talking to you about Pakistan, I have the impression that I'm there.

And now, because I know she wants so, so bad to come once again in Pakistan, I'm telling her: Imagine how in October, when I'll end my traineeship, you and I will listen the same Madonna's song, will taste the same hamburger, in a McDonald's restaurant ... in Karachi :) -- well, you can imagine her reaction, right? :)))

I can not even imagine making a better choice regarding a traineeship ever, or going now someplace else. God, I talked yesterday with wonderful people, actually I managed to actually "talk" into a microphone with Moaiz, you can imagine my excitement, in the beginning I was speechless, I think Moaiz was wondering if his speakers are on or not :D

I already have some very interesting offers form you guys ;), some cooking offers from Adeel, but I have to ask him nicely because I changed my message on MSN with his wish of Happy Birthday, and now, well, I have to take consequences :P and I also have an offer of some Urdu lessons for starters from Yahya :) well, what can I say?! What more can I ask? Just you tell me what!!! :D

That's it for now, you can imagine from where I'm sending this post :P so, more to come, hopefully in the evening.

same aura

the youngest hour

It's almost 1 AM in Bucharest and what am I doing? working, and yes, just opened a beer and while listening a good selection of international music I'm trying to finish an assignment for an Assessment Center from almost 10 days ago. I experienced today some first reactions to my decision to come to Pakistan :) My mom just went home from Bucharest and told her boss how wonderful was our mini-vacation in Bratislava and Vienna and told him that I'm considering going to Pakistan for half a year, his reaction? extraordinary :)) happy for me and encouraging for my mom, wonderful man. Soon more reactions to come :D

As the day passed I did another small step to Pakistan, I booked a flight and Delia talked to the consulate here in Romania -- actually I am meeting her tomorrow to plan everything in detail -- and I also did my sponsorship letter and have some ideas about some target companies or people to approach with my request. So, slowly, things are moving forward.

Another interesting thing happen today, as you might know, or not, I posted a message on the forum of AIESEC in Lahore introducing myself in a few words and leaving there some contact details for who's interested in meeting me before actually landing in Lahore, and today, a guy added me in his list on MSN and I found out he is also an alumni of AIESEC, he was VP X in Dubai and that currently he runs his own business. Wow, so many things in one day.

To bother you with more work related issues? just one -- I'm experiencing now that cost of opportunity I learned about in faculty, I've been given the opportunity to travel in the next two months to Budapest, Prague and Moscow -- unfortunatelly and luckely I will be in Lahore that time -- but this is how life's going, as my friend Delia told me these past days, the biggest enemy of "best" is "good" -- hopefully I'm getting rid of "good" to find in Lahore "best" or at least its first step.

I'm stoping now, still have some work to do :)

same aura

About today

I had so many things to do today, and in the beginning everything was so important, not to say also urgent. Now, I'm ok, managed to go through the day :) I'm involved now in a regional project and managing romanian operations, it's InBev, you might know it :)) and I'm evaluating now candidates' motivations. I had 10 days ago almost 30 candidates in a huge Assessment Center, and one of the exercises was to determine their future plans. It's so interesting to read what these young people dream and expect from their lives in term of professional career. I am wondering what I would write if I were them. Actually, I would know what to write now :) but years ago, or months ago, or even in the end of the last year, I wouldn't know what to write, what to want, what to dream of.

Now, coming back to reality, I still have three exams and three papers to do for passing those exams, and I just can not find the mood for learning. I appreciate so much those who can work and also graduate a faculty.

Well, I think I'll just have to learn :)

same aura

And this is how it starts

With a blog where to share my dream and this adventure that is suppose to be a first step to making a dream come true; but let's just take one thing at the time :)

As I worked some time to build this page, I will just stop this night, and come back later today.

aura